12/15/2006

生命礼赞—The Inner Life of A Cell

bbs上看到一个链接,点过去,发现是Harvard和一个电脑动画公司联合制作的一个短片,讲述的是血管中白细胞附着在血管壁的过程中,细胞内部各个部分精密工作的过程。

真的很难想象大自然能够进化的如此精妙如此完美,想想这样奇迹般的过程其实是每时每刻发生在我们的身上,不禁被生命的伟大而深深折服!


The Inner Life of A Cell

在线视频:


相关说明:



另外附上一个解说供参考:

- First shot: circulation. Red blood cells and platelets move extraordinarily fast through the bloodstream while many white blood cells roll along the walls of your blood vessels. This allows the WBCs to respond to signals that it should break through the vessel wall and help out (if it were unattached it wouldn't be able to land in time to be anywhere near where it was needed)

- Next we zoom in on the white blood cell's rolling process. We see that this happens because proteins sticking out from the WBC stick to proteins sticking out from the cells lining the blood vessel (these proteins are called CAMs, or cellular adhesion molecules. I forget exactly what kind of CAM mediates this kind of cell-cell adhesion, but there are subtypes). We also see the extracellular matrix in this shot -- that's the fibrous stuff covering the outside of the cell, giving it rigidity (it's made up of proteins like collagen... inside your body, if it breaks it lets out a signal to nearby cells to grow and fill in the break, if you're cut for example). One thing to note about CAM adhesion is that two proteins don't generally stick together, they have to be specifically tailed for that function.

- Next we zoom in further on the surface of the cell, beyond the extra cellular matrix. We sea the sea of lipids (blue and green round things) that make up the boundary of the cell, and we see a raft floating through them. This is a "lipid raft", and it has more cholesterol in it than the rest of the cellular membrane. These rafts are special places for certain proteins and lipids to aggregate (i.e., some proteins designed to accept signals from the environment will aggregate in these -- an example of a signal is a hormone like insulin, which when it attaches to a protein designed to catch it will cause a cell to change metabolism, for example).

- Next we see two proteins making contact (the red one hanging down and the purple one sticking up). I don't know what these proteins are, but my guess is that the vessel cell is signaling to the WBC that the WBC should invade the tissue (i.e., there's damage and the inflammatory process sends signals that eventually get to WBCs, which then come to help).

- A pretty shot zoomed out of a raft floating along the cell surface

- I don't know what the trinagular structres are, which is frustrating. Maybe it's actin covering the interior wall of the cell? Actin is a cytoskeletal protein (i.e., it makes up a rigid structural and transport network) that covers the interior side of the cellular membrane. It's a meeting point between things on the inside of the cell and the cellular membrane (which is useful, for example, if a signal is received on the cell surface and needs to trickle into intracellular components).

- Next is the purple and green lattice. I think this is actin with cross-linking proteins. Actin fibers (actin is made up of protein subunits that form those long, twisty fibers) don't just randomly stack, they're also connected to each other by proteins to make the dense structure you see here.

- Next we see actin polymerization (the purple fibrils self-assembling). This is a spontaneous process that happens when the concentrations of actin are high enough (and it looks really cool here). The cell tightly regulates the concentration of actin so as to make the right amount of these fibers.

- Next we see the small green protein stick to actin, breaking it up. Our cells will activate these proteins if they want to break down that huge actin lattice we saw earlier very quickly (i.e., when the cell is moving). An interesting sidenote is how well the proteins fit together. This isn't artistic license, these proteins' 3D structures are modeled after real life.

- Next the huge green tube -- this is a microtubule assembling. Like actin, this is a spontaneous process dictated by concentration. Microtubules are made up of alternating alpha and beta subunits. Then we see the microtubule dissassembling. Notice how it frays at the end and then completely falls apart...I think that's a realistic rendering.

- Next is what I think is the coolest part, the little walker along the microtubule. That's a kinesin, a protein that literally walks along microtubules to carry cargo around the cell. This is how things end up at their destinations without having to just float around until they hit the right thing. Microtubules are organized to radiated from a microtubule organizing center out to the cell surface. Here a kinesin is walking in a specific direction (I assume toward the cell surface) because its cargo, a huge vesicle, needs to get there. Vesicles are little lipid-bound blobs that carry stuff around -- so this all is the FedEx of the cell. Kinesins are fascinating proteins -- they don't walk without energy input, since the walking requires work. ATP is involved.

- Then we zoom out and see the MTOC (microtubule organizing center) in the background (the sphere with two orthogonal cylinders in front). Microtubules emanate from there. MTOCs are pretty interesting things because they have to multiply and divide with the rest of the cell, and we don't know exactly how that works yet.

- Now we've changed venues...we see a round surface with little holes. That round surface is the nucleus, where DNA lives. Those holes are nuclear pores, which is how things get in and out of the nucleus. DNA is transcribed into RNA in the nucleus, and that RNA is then transported out of the cell where it is translated into proteins by ribosomes. In higher order organisms the RNA makes a circle as you see here. If you look closely you can see the small subunit of the ribosome attach to the RNA and scan along until it finds the start sequence on the RNA, where the large subunit then attaches.

- Then we zoom in on the ribosome reading the RNA and spitting out the growing protein. Pretty cool shot.

- Next is the blue and red proteins floating over to the huge cylindrical blob. I don't know if that's a proteasome or a chaperone...I think it's a chaperone. Anyway, the role of a chaperone is to take in a newly synthesized protein and fold it properly. There's lots of research going on into how exactly this happens right now (i.e., Fold@Home).

- The next shot is translation again (see the yellow-green ribosome and the RNA stuck in it). This time translation is happening into the Endoplasmic Reticulum, however, because the protein it's making needs to be secreted out of the cell. This is where that process starts (proteins meant for secretion aren't just made in the cytosol and then magically end up on the outside of the cell. They're spit into this special compartment where its exit from the cell is ordered).

- Next is some vesicle formation, I assume off of the ER and toward the golgi apparatus, which is the next stop in the secretory pathway for proteins destined for the outside of the cell. We see the kinesin in the foreground again.

- Next we see the vesicle arriving at the golgi apparatus, the large layer of blobby pancakes. Vesicles from the ER arrive at one end and progress through the layers, where they're either targeted for other parts of the cell, or if not will exit via a vesicle to the cell membrane.

- Now we see a huge cavity opening up and things flying out of the cell. This is what happens when a vesicle makes it to the cell membrane -- it fuses, releasing its contents outside. Proteins that were in the vesicle membrane are now part of the cellular membrane. The orientation of these membrane-attached proteins is controlled so that they face the right way.

- Then we see raft formation, I think, around a set of proteins.

- Then we zoom out and see the result of the signal to the WBC -- it invades through the blood vessel wall to the surrounding tissue. I don't know anything about the immune system, though, so my details on the macro aspect are sketchy and possibly incorrect.

12/14/2006

荣升版主

经过两天的申请,今天终于被批准为瀚海星云AI版的版主了!

本来在AI版上发的帖子就不多,这个多亏有那么多朋友的支持才得以上任,嗯,要谢谢大家了!

这么长时间来,对人工智能也不断有新的认识。这确实是一个很庞大的领域,也很新颖。虽然人工智能的发展远远不像人们当初想象的那样顺利,但是AI的确是一个具有很大理论价值和应用前景的学科。虽然还不能做出多大的贡献,但是能够从事AI方面的研究,我还是感觉很幸运的。 

嗯,今后多多关注AI版,好好经营发展好这个版,不能辜负大家的信任!

12/11/2006

[Z]十二星座等级最终划分

转载文章,绝无考证,仅供YY!如有雷同,未必巧合!hoho~~

三等星座

  双鱼座:12星座中一个比较脆弱的星座,没主见,任人摆布,意志力较差,容易堕落,没出息,同时据调查此星座犯罪率居然是12星座之首!幸亏双鱼座多半是有天蝎座罩着,要不然鱼鱼如何立足还真是麻烦呢。

三等星座

  双子座:此星座虽然口才超好,但却有哗众取宠之嫌,而且俗话说言多必失,做事三心两意,喜新厌旧,缺乏定力,易受诱惑,毅力较差,游戏人生,综合实力实在不高,可以说是双鱼座的难兄难弟了。

三等星座

  处女座:一生都在追求完美的星座,但没发现最不完美的却是自己。经不起挫折,容易一撅不振,臭屁之王,神经质,斤斤计较,洁癖,不合群。有时候有点招人讨厌的星座.

三等星座

  射手座:性格活泼开朗堪称12星座之最,朋友众多,喜欢自由自在不受拘束的生活,不过此星星没啥耐心,意志力很差,往往做事半途而废。此外又花心,做事不太踏实,有时也不够忠实。

--------------------------------------------



二等星座

  巨蟹座:此星座适合照顾人,细心体贴,是慈父贤母,但不适合做大事,毅力不强,综合实力并没高出三等星座很多。

  代表性大神:无

二等星座

  白羊座:性格豪爽,光明磊落,勇敢,忠贞,极具阳刚,缺点是做事易冲动,不动脑子,天真,好斗,不过女性会比男性好一些。

  代表性大神:伊斯兰教主神真主安拉[生日4月20日] 战神阿瑞斯

二等星座

  金牛座:稳重、踏实,有艺术细胞,为人较诚实,属实干家,只要踏踏实实也能有一翻成就,不过此星座多为守财奴很吝啬,一生为金钱奔波劳碌。

  代表性大神:佛教主神释珈摩尼[生日阴历四月初八] 希腊主神宙斯

二等星座

  天秤座:优雅,有风度,仪表堂堂,人缘极好,朋友众多,是12星座中最吃的开的星座。不过此星座一般贪图享受。

  代表性大神:太阳神阿波罗

二等星座

  狮子座:有领导才能,有魄力,敢作敢当,做男人很好,缺点是骄傲自大,听不进好言相劝,多是表面的王者。

  代表性大神:海神波塞东
------------------------------------------- 


一等星座

  星座等级排名第三名:

  水瓶座:思维怪异,非常人能及,异常冷静,行为古怪独特,捉摸不定。意志也比较顽强,是成大事者的好选择,一个极其有魅力的外星人星座。

  代表性大神:中国道教的玉皇大帝[生日阴历正月初九]


一等星座

  星座等级排名第二名:

  摩羯座:吃苦耐劳,大器晚成,有野心,忍辱负重,坚韧不拔,意志顽强,大智若愚,是成大事者另一选择,综合实力略仅次于第一名的优等星座!

  代表性大神:基督教主神耶和华[基督教生日 12月25日]


一等星座

  星座等级排名第一名:

  天蝎座:深谋远虑,深藏不露,城府极深,有魄力,有野心,勇敢,意志力超强,隐忍执着,洞察力极强,爆发力强,有12星座独一无二的第六感,是成大事者的首选,实数12星座之冠!

  代表性大神:印度主神创造神大梵天[印度教生日11月9日] 冥王哈迪斯


 

12/10/2006

1210流水帐

好久没有更新了,一直没有什么好写的。这两天实验室又举办会议,跑来跑去的,不过也算是饱餐了几顿,今天也终于结束了。回到宿舍一个人都没有,正好好休息一下,坐下就不想动,累死了。


这几天也没有干啥事了,休息一下再继续吧。发现需要做的事情还非常多,不过现在开始有了眉目了,应该再接再厉吧。不说了,趴着睡会,^_^

11/22/2006

Gold Shield?!

As the development of technology of networks and the prevalence of Internet, we can obtain needed information more easily, and thus our work and study are increasly convenient and efficient. Unfortunately, in China, you may not find all the information which you want ot obtain from the Internet, because there is a notorious project aiming to censor and even block the Internet information which the government does not will to spread in normal people, --including erotic, voilent, and political sensitive information. And it is the Gold Shield Engineering.


Here I would not discuss whether the blockage of the erotic, voilent and political sensitive information is just, and let's see the so-called information surveillance. Is it true that the Gold Shield is used to filter the ill information? In my view, the information which is filtered includes not only those ill content but plenty of useful and valuable information. Why? The answer is quite simple. The Chinese government wants to block everything which may be adverse to its rule even if the information is objevtive and neutrality. And it is more important that the censor system is quite stupid but truculenct so that it take the very savage measure -- blocking everything that may even has a little and unconspicuous relationship with the so-called wrong content. So under this exact system, a great deal of information is filtered by the Gold Shield and we often, as a result, cannot explore those useful but "ill" information.


Now, as we look, many excellent  websites are blocked by the government and the information sharing only becomes the sacrificial lamb of the censor system. Wikipedia, New Threads and etc have been blocked by the Gold Shield, and I can only search a few of contents by Google but cannot explore the whole information. When we are deprived our basic right to know information, how the courtry advocates the democracy?


I don't know when our people could enjoy the true information fluency in our country. Fuck the damed Gold Shield!

Dogville


昨天看了电影Dogville,中文翻译为《狗镇》,一语双关,十六个小镇居民和一个外来者的故事。

一部好电影在于当你在欣赏它的时候会情不自禁的跟着影片的发展向前走,而当看完整个影片之后,它更能给人更深层次的思索。这种思索不是教化式的强加于人,而是为你打开一扇思想的窗户,让你看到以前也许不曾注意过的地方,简言之,就是一种启迪。

 Dogville就是这样的电影,它深刻的内涵甚至可以使人忽略电影其他的亮点了,——包括新颖的舞台剧形式,古典戏剧式的章节结构,烘托气氛的光影效果,浓厚的英国口语的旁白和每个演员精彩的对白和表演。

我承认我是冲着Nicole Kidman的大名才看这部电影的,甚至在看的时候我往往更多的被Nicole的表演而不是电影本身所吸引。可是这样的电影绝不是表演秀,情节的发展是那么的自然而又微妙,对主题的领悟是一种迁移默化,而非瞬间爆发式的。

这样的渐进的感觉更易于人们深入的看到电影所要展现的,——本质上来说,Dogville小镇上的居民其实没有变化,他们只是在随着环境的改变,慢慢的暴露出人性的弱点。以前所谓的真善美只不过是披在身上的一层华丽的外衣而已,所谓的道德也只是一纸合同而已。Tom似乎一直以传道者的身份自居,可是在他所谓的与不道德的一次又一次的斗争中,他也最终在Grace面前暴露出了他本质上的丑恶,其实他和所有的Dogville的居民没有什么区别,只是他隐藏的更深罢了。道德只不过是作为一个没有实际意义的符号,Tom所要做的只是证明这个符号的存在,至于符号的真正意义已早被他丢弃。

在Dogville,Grace始终保持着最低的生活标准和最高的道德准则,可是这样近乎完美的人所能得到的就是失去信任,丧失尊严,然后就是一次又一次次的被欺骗,侮辱,虐待,甚至唯一可以信任的人的背叛。而这一切,就是因为Dogville的居民之前只是将美德作为一种商品出卖的,当合同失效了,道德也就消失了。最后,对于Grace,她所能做的就是以一个救赎者的姿态去摧毁这邪恶虚伪的一切。 

我没有觉得影片的主题显得悲观了,因为电影就是电影,它所展现的只是世界的一个侧面,只要在这个层面上能够给人们深刻的思考便足够了,它不用像教科书一样的把人性所有内容都呈现出来。对于这部电影,我相信在看过第二遍,第三遍的时候更会有新的感受的。

正如影片最后所说的,不知式Grace离开了Dogville,还是Dogville离开了Grace ......


Narrator: How could she ever hate them for what was at bottom merely their weakness? She would probably have done things like those to be fallen her if she had lived in one of these houses. To measure them by her own yardstick as her father put it. Would she not, in all honesty, have done the same as Chuck and Vera and Ben and Mrs Henson and Tom and all these people in their houses? Grace paused. - - - And all of a sudden she knew the answer to her question all too well. If she had acted like them she could not have defended a single one of her actions and could not have condemned them harshly enough. It was as if her sorrow and pain finally assumed their rightful place. No. What they had done was not good enough. And if one had the power to put it to right it was one's duty to do so - for the sake of other towns, for the sake of humanity. And not least for the sake of the human being that was grace herself.


Grace: If there is any town this world would be better without this is it.


Narrator: Whether Grace left Dogville, or on the contrary Dogville had left her - and the world in general - is a question of a more artful nature that few would benefit from by asking, and even fewer by providing an answer. And nor indeed will it be answered here.


中文名称:厄夜变奏曲
英文名称:Dogville
别名:狗城
发行时间:2003年
电影导演:拉斯·冯提尔(Lars Von Trier )
电影演员
妮科·基德曼(Nicole Kidman )
斯特兰·斯卡斯加德(Stellan Skarsgaard )保罗·贝塔尼(Paul Bettany )
劳伦·芭考尔(Lauren Bacall)
本·加兹拉(Ben Gazzara)
詹姆斯·凯恩(James Caan)
菲利普·贝克尔·霍尔(Philip Baker Hall )

地区:丹麦
语言:英语
简介



国别:丹麦
片长:177分钟
官方网站:http://www.dogville.dk/


11/18/2006

Sandy——铿锵玫瑰



11月18日晚,小雨,气温11℃南京五台山体育馆,Sandy的演唱会

港台的女歌手中林忆莲是算的上是比较喜欢的一个吧。不知到底是自己跟不上时代了,还是现在的新人歌手的水平确实乏善可陈,从现在的新兴一代的歌手中我已经找不到听林忆莲的歌曲的那种冲击内心的感觉了。林忆莲,这个名字就让我觉得这场演唱会是应该去的。

今天的Sandy一头爽朗的短发,很亮丽很清新的感觉,依然是那双小而迷人的眼睛,依然是那从容的微笑。现场看到Sandy感觉要比印象中的娇小了几分,不由的心生怜惜,感觉一个已入不惑之年的女人从婚姻的围城中走出是多么的不易




Sandy的开场是一段惊艳的热舞,一改往日形象,40岁的她有这样的体力也着实令人佩服。后面的两个小时里,Sandy用一首首老歌新曲诉说着她内心对音乐感受,对人生的领悟。

《爱上一个不回家的人》,这早已成了Sandy的代表作,十多年的心路历程,这次Sandy的再演绎竟有了全新的感受。带有金属摇滚的风格,更强节奏感的配乐,更加跌宕起伏的旋律,在暗红色的追光灯的衬托下是Sandy深厚而有力的声音,完全不同于以前那个惆怅犹豫的版本,这次更像是充满激情的心底的呐喊。由于离的比较近,能够真切的感受到Sandy全心的投入,不知道当时的她是不是带着自己的感情在唱这首歌。

最喜欢的是忆莲在第三次登场。灯光全熄,现场到处是闪烁的荧光棒,音乐响起,是《至少还有你》,舒缓而坚定的钢琴的前奏立刻引起了现场的高潮,升降台缓缓升起,Sandy身着一套粉红色加黑色的长裙,明快大方又更显成熟妩媚,全场沸腾。再熟悉不过的旋律,再熟悉不过的声音,淡然、从容、坚强、温婉。我们每个人都有自己的不同故事,而我们又共同在忆莲的歌声中寻找自己的感动。

     如果 全世界我也可以放弃
     至少还有你 值得我去珍惜
     而你在这里 就是生命的奇迹……





紧接着,便是那首永远经典的《伤痕》。原以为这又是一次饱含深情的演绎,可是没想到Sandy竟然跟随着音乐轻轻摇摆,感觉歌曲中已经没有多少悲伤,甚至能感觉有些俏皮,呵呵,这个女人。不禁的为忆莲高兴,经历了无数的幸福与痛苦,虽然也许还没有完全治愈心灵的创伤,但是她现在依然能够站在台上,依然能够跟所有热爱音乐的人分享她的开心,欢乐,忧郁,悲伤,那是一件多么不容易的事啊,真的如她所唱的,她也彷佛一朵愈开愈美丽的铿锵玫瑰!

我一直认为Sandy和李宗盛真的是天造地设的一对,可是造物弄人,童话般的爱情之花也终于凋谢了,留下的也只能是世人的叹息吧。《当爱已成往事》,像电影一样的,歌声也最终在现实中应验了。似乎已经是两人的绝唱了,这首歌也因此被赋予了更多的涵义。Sandy在下台换装的时候,是乐队的键盘手一边弹奏一边指挥大家一起唱的,没有Sandy的声音,也不知道何时还能够听到她的演唱。

整个晚上,能感觉到Sandy现在的状态挺好。不惑之年的女人,经过世事的历练,洗去铅华,提炼出最美丽的气质。我们在Sandy的歌声里感动着、悲伤着,仿佛只是一转瞬间,二十年的光阴倏忽而过,她和她的歌声伴随着往事,伴随着伤痕,与我们一同蜕变、成长,淳淳的歌声沁润着心底,留下的淡淡的动人的芬芳……





记得曾经看过一个音乐评论,说林忆莲的声音是亚洲最性感的声音。这句话是有它的道理的,——不仅仅是富有磁性的声线和饱含深情的演绎,更重要的是从她歌声中听到的一个女人内心的故事。

今天的Sandy,温婉,热情,坚强,妩媚

11/15/2006

第二十四个生日

自己本来也无意去过这个生日,只想平平淡淡的度过这一天,不过别人的好意总也不能再推脱吧,于是这个本命年的生日就算是正式的过了吧。阿邵吃过饭了也来给我庆贺,小地主和肥杨也都喝了不少,很感谢他们,身边的朋友会让我感觉很幸福!

我睡觉是对环境的要求比较高吧,昨天晚上小地主又是继续他的夜间活动,在下边一会点点鼠标,一会猛打键盘,结果却让我失眠了一夜。一直到天亮了,小地主也熬不住爬上床睡了,我才基本上睡着了。

下午来到实验室,坐了一个多小时,看了些ppt,没有什么感觉,觉得今天状态不好,什么东西都看不进去,于是便上来逛了逛。 

突然有一种冲动,居然想家了。想我的爸爸,想我的妈妈,有一种抑制不住的感觉,很想很想在他们身边。昨天让我最感动的是妈妈发给我的短信——生日快乐,我想告诉她我的生日也正是是她的受难日,可是我没有说,我怕我说了她会流泪。想着想着有些伤感了,真的很想用自己的行动让他们感到开心。

想到爸爸妈妈,有无数的点点滴滴足以让我落泪,不再多言,无需多言。

今天又是新的一天了,24年,又是一个轮回。开始新的脚步吧,为了爱我的爸爸妈妈,也为了自己! 

11/11/2006

重拾心情,开始博客




1



沉寂啊沉寂,沉寂了两个月,终于又浮出水面了。

两个月来,各种各样的事情缠身,没有时间,没有精力,也没有心情来继续我的blog。时间飞逝,回想八月酷暑独守空房奋战GRE时,那二十四小时不间断的电风扇的吱吱呀呀声依然余音绕梁不绝于耳,而转眼间,已是凉风萧瑟出门便是一身寒颤的立冬时节了。



2

两个月,每日机械而又规律的往返于图书馆与宿舍,与周围无数的USTCer们一同在征服GRE挑战ETS的长征路上奋勇厮杀着。那样的日子我一辈子都难忘,是的,以后的生活中这样为着一个目标,或者说是理想而忍受煎熬,克服困难,挑战自我,无畏前进的经历不会很多了,——生活大多是平淡而现实的。最后的半个月,几乎每天都是只睡56个小时,而除了满足一下必需的食欲,其余的时间都贡献给了图书馆。我想说,考G真的是一个很不错的经历,每当在图书馆的自习室坐下,看着周围的人一个个专心致志的捧着红宝书狂背,我便会立刻浑身充满了斗志和激情。什么叫“明知山有虎,偏向虎山行”?什么叫“明知其不可为而为之”?什么叫“自古华山一条路”?什么叫“狭路相逢勇者胜”?我想,凡是考过G的人都会有自己的体会吧。

GRE已经考过了,现在对我来说成绩如何已经不是最重要的了,至少我有过与GRE这么亲密接触的经历,有过一段刻骨铭心的顽强拼搏的过程。走过一段不寻常的路,终点往往没有路上的风景更精彩。



3

忙着与ETS的斗志斗勇,我渐渐的远离这个纷繁的世界了。

只是在经过学校超市前的报摊时才知道车王的退役,舒马赫在英特拉格斯结束了十六年的F1生涯,不能说后无来者,至少前无古人。没有完美的谢幕依然让我绝对这样的结束是精彩的,较之齐达内,较之乔丹,我更觉得车王更完美的写完了自己F1的神话。

明年联合国要换新当家了,韩国潘文基当选新任安理会秘书长。其实谁当秘书长还能有多少不同呢,联合国秘书长的换届恐怕还不如现在的美国中期选举更值得人们贯注吧。拉姆斯菲尔德终于不干了,对这家伙一向没什么好感。一天到晚杀气腾腾的,可是伊拉克战争却打的如此失败,最后还来个虐俘事件,而且一脸老奸巨猾的样子,让人看了就不爽。倒是施瓦辛格和希拉里似乎是胜利者,一个Strong Man,一个Strong Woman。尤其是希拉里,总觉得她那个总统老公现在也越来越难以驾驭这个女人了。

国庆后是十六届六中全会,倒没有过多关注会议的内容,不过却冒出了另一个的想法。但凡党内,党外,政府,民间,人大,政协开会出个什么什么决议,什么什么纲要,什么什么公报以后,很快就会有许许多多专家学者来个什么什么解读。久其原因,原来是这些决议,纲要,公报写的太笼统,太抽象,太程式化,让普通老百姓看了不知所云,云里雾里,只有再经过那些专家学者的进一步解释才能了解其含义。我就不明白,既然开会做出的决议,为什么不能写的通俗实际一点呢?难道只有满纸教条才能称的上是正式的会议公文吗?唉,政治啊政治,不是我等凡人可以看懂的吧~

10月份,胡润又出了新的百富榜,比以往不同的是这次坐上第一把交椅的是个叫张茵的传奇女子。这个名字陌生的我从来没有听说过,我开始明白女人也能登上财富的顶峰,我开始明白造纸也可以成为首富,我更明白白手起家比那些吃着上辈的财产更让人钦佩。其实对财富排行榜也没有多少兴趣了,只是一位财富的风云人物,更是一位传奇人物的逝世却让我也会有几分叹息。虽然与霍老先生没有多少关系,可是他传奇的奋斗史足以让每个热血青年钦佩,而他为中国的40亿的捐款也足以赢得值得每个中国人的尊敬了,这就是慈善家吧,取之于民,用之于民。霍老,一路走好!

写着写着发现自己在做时事总结了,还是赶快打住吧。也许是远离世事太久了吧,对这个世界上发生的一切都有了莫名的新鲜感。



4

GRE虽然结束了,可是并不意味着我开始一段轻松的日子。依然有各种各样的事情的纠缠,使我几乎失去了应对的能力。我不怪谁,不怨谁,也不后悔,唯一让我不知所措的就是不知道以后还会发生什么,什么时候才能真正的结束。一向极度自信到自负的我,开始觉得自己很失败,在很多方面,纠缠的事情无法解决,理想与现实的差距,周围的人无形的压力,兴趣与现实的矛盾,似乎最近各种各样的挫败感也接踵而至,我艰难的去面对去解决,又被它们压的透不过气。于是,除了睡觉,我几乎所有时间都待在了实验室,只有一心钻进科研的世界,我才能从各种烦恼中解脱出来。

渐渐的,我已经不再那么乐观了,我发现太多的自己不能掌控的情况发生,这就是现实,我们不想面对但却必须面对的现实。我知道我会努力的,可是却不知道我的努力到头来能换得什么结果。

  

5

还是不该说那么多的丧气话,还是换个话题吧。也不知道是其他事情的影响,还是自己的兴趣所限,实验室的工作进展不够顺利,以前转投计算机就是想避开那些技术和工程领域的方法、标准和模型,希望能在计算机领域里找到自己兴趣和理论研究的结合点,可是人算不如天算,现在居然又开始拾起了自己的老本行。一大堆技术资料摆在面前,我不得不又与调制、解调、复用、多址、基带、频带、基波、载波、信噪比、功率谱等等等等名词开始无休止的纠缠了。这还算好的,今天居然发现我还要研究我以前最最深恶痛绝的天线!什么前瓣、后瓣、辐射范围、谐振频率,听了我就想吐。唉,这样的状况一定要改一改。 

现在越来越肯定自己的兴趣在什么地方了,偏理论的分析才是我乐意去做的。虽然理论化的研究对以后工作不利,而且也不容易做出成果,可是这毕竟是我愿意的,我是个理想主义者,只要自己心中愿意做的事情,就不会去在乎太多现实的因素。这样的思想已经深入我的脑海了,也一直作为我做重大决定的指导思想。就像当年放弃自己熟悉的通信转考计算机,虽然我牺牲了许多,但是我从来没有后悔过。同样,对于将来,我现在的努力是清晰而明确的,既然是心中已有的理想,那就不去考虑那么多的机会成本了。



6

说说下一步的目标吧,首先要努力做好实验室的工作。其实一切工作都按照自己的兴趣来也不太可能,还是一步一步来吧。最近看到一个用Game Theory来做Cognitive Radio的,还是有些兴趣,不过发现光是Game Theory就需要花费很多精力去理解,而且更重要的是老师觉得跟我要做的更底层的工作不是很符合。唉,所以还是应该先把这些东西弄懂,然后才有理由去说服老师吧。但是这样,老师原本期待我做的工作就不能完成了,唉,dilemma

上次实验室主办的SEAL’06会议让我有很多感触,最主要的是自己英语真的不行,虽然经过GRE的磨练,但是实际的英语的应用能力却没有多少提高,最多也就阅读的快些加上增加了些单词量而已,面对面的英语交流能力几乎为0。开会的时候也去听了几场报告,结果发现也没怎么听懂。会议来了不少牛人,大名鼎鼎的Karl Sigmund也来了,我们戏称这家伙是在NatureScience上灌水的,24篇文章好像倒确实跟我在瀚海上的文章数差不多啦,后来才知道他是奥地利皇家数学会主席,难怪难怪。唉,要是自己口语好些,也能给人家Karl老先生指个路啥的啊。于是现在真的要痛下决心好好加强日常交际英语了。

上面的两件事情是最主要的吧,其他的也就是要继续游泳,继续跑步,有空也可以去健身。不过,估计以后也没有太多的时间放在这上面了。



7

今天又是光棍节了,我们决定跟去年一样庆祝一下,于是晚上跟小地主、小师弟一块去了天源吃羊肉,嗯,在肉联厂附近,果然味道不错。小肥杨似乎比较忧郁,也不愿过这样的节日,似乎这种日子里他也更容易思春了,唉,当他开始想他未来的mm的时候,我却盼望着能够一个人安安静静的生活着。突然觉得小地主是我们宿舍生活的最快乐的,无忧无虑的,高兴了看看文章,不高兴了就玩玩游戏,灌灌水,然后还时不时的发出各种怪笑,——那一定是他在看康熙来了。是啊,每个人都有不同的生活哲学,其实我挺欣赏小地主这种作风的,当然也有羡慕。快乐就好! 

背景音乐是中岛美雪的ホ一ムにこ(只因有爱),淡淡的忧伤,但却不颓废……